I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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