Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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