i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
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well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
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"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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