Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Randomize
