So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
