i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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