Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
