none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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