I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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