I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize
