AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize