The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
