so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Michael Bay diarrhea
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
