i think my tv is drunk
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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