nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
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