there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
