sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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