would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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