NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
