Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I could fuck to npr.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
