There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
