His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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