you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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