i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
