Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
We are two peas in an std pod
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
