so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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