he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
