we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
