He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
