A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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