nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
