I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I think people are normalizing furries
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
