Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
