i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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