Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
