doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
