good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
