i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
