oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
