hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
