i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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