we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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