At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Even my vagina gasped.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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