I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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