Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
