when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
