what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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