so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
