Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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