ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
