If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
