i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
