Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
