Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
