By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
