I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
