I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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