the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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