well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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