If i come over, it means nothing
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
