he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
